Slow down, you crazy child

I never considered myself a type-A control freak, but I guess I was in certain ways. For example, from age 18 to about this past December, I counted almost every calorie I ate. I would get upset if I ran for 29 minutes instead of 30. I would get a little itchy if the dining room table or the ottoman tray was cluttered or the bed was unmade...yet I could easily go a little longer than advised with cleaning the bathroom or dusting the house.


I'm trying to fight certain elements of the control-freakiness but it has been hard. Especially these past few days. Our routine was blown out of the water and Reid and I are both feeling it. I've been exhausted and tense, and he's been fussy. Or is he fussy because he can tell I'm exhausted and tense? Who is the routine for? Him or me?


Sometime in May or June, I was lamenting to a friend via text message that I didn't understand why my thighs were so big - after all, they were not carrying a baby. She replied, "actually, they are. So let them be what they will be." Very wise words, and I've been trying to apply this mantra to life these days. Let the house be what it will be. Let Reid's schedule be what it will be. This goes completely against my nature, though, so it is really hard for me. And ironically, I'm not exacty letting me be what I will be, am I?

But some changes are for the best, and I definitely need to learn to roll with things better.

So this morning when we had a little setback and we couldn't go for our walk right away, which nearly caused a 2-star meltdown, we did some morning errands, then we drove along the lake for awhile and listened to what I've come to think of as Mama's Lullaby: Vienna by Billy Joel, on repeat:


Slow down you crazy child
You're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart tell me why
Are you still so afraid?
Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You better cool it off before you burn it out
You got so much to do and only
So many hours in a day

But you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

Slow down you're doing fine
You can't be everything you want to be
Before your time
Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight (tonight)
Too bad but it's the life you lead
You're so ahead of yourself
That you forgot what you need
Though you can see when you're wrong
You know you can't always see when you're right(you're right)

You got your passion you got your pride
But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?
Dream on but don't imagine they'll all come true
When will you realize
Vienna waits for you

Slow down you crazy child
Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while
It's alright you can afford to lose a day or two
When will you realize...
Vienna waits for you.

And you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through

Why don't you realize...Vienna waits for you
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

I hope after reading that, you are all as relaxed as I am. OK, you got me: I'm not totally relaxed yet. But my other life mantra is Fake it 'Til You Make It. :)