Sleeps

Since Reid came home, he's mostly been falling asleep in our arms or in the carseat. Having him fall asleep on me is my favorite time, aside from nursing, playtime, and all the other times of the day when he exists.

I think it's fine to have him fall asleep on us. I know people who rock their toddlers to sleep. If that is wrong, I don't want to be right. It is such a special time (gah! I've become a person who says things like "special time!"). There is time later to worry about habits, but in the grand scheme of things, rocking a baby or a toddler to sleep is not going to make the world stop turning.

However. It is time for us to start putting Reid down in his crib once he is asleep. I have been thinking this for a while, but I wasn't ready to let go. Suddenly the lightbulb went on last night, when my head was cocked at a really uncomfortable angle in order to accommodate the 12-week-old [heavy] head taking up most of my shoulder and all of my neck: rocking him and having him fall asleep on us means we still get that sweet, "special time." Putting him in his crib after that means not waking up with a crick in my neck, possibly finishing an episode of Mad Men in one go, and not having to call Supernanny 3 years down the road because I just don't understand why my kid won't sleep in his own bed.

Sounds like a win to me. So today was the first try. First I nursed him and rocked him until he fell asleep. Then I put him in his crib and waited for the inevitable **PING! Eyes open!** I don't know why he wakes up as soon as I put him down. I suspect it is a separation thing, and I have prepared accordingly: for the past 2 nights, I've been sleeping with a lullaby-singing frog and a monkey-headed blanket so they would smell like me.

Once his eyes opened, I tried a couple rounds of "let him cry for a minute, then soothe, and repeat." I know that this is not "crying it out" and it's not cruel, but I don't want him to go to sleep just because he has tired himself out from crying. I'd like for the crib to be a comfortable, secure place for him that is not associated with being sad or lonely.

My next approach was to stand there and shh him and rub his belly until he fell asleep. This worked, but it took for-ev-er. At some point I covered him with the monkey-headed blanket, which I think helped. Since putting a blanket on a baby goes against every SIDS recommendation out there, I stayed closeby and watched to make sure it didn't suddenly float up over his mouth and nose.

The nap only lasted 25 minutes or so, but it was progress. He is a crabby apple for sure right now, but it's going to take a little bit to get into this groove. Just like everything else so far, it will take patience and persistence, and it will likely be harder on me than it is on him.

Speaking of hard on me...when my little boy is tired and I am rocking him, bouncing him, or rubbing his belly...right before he starts to drift off, he stares deeply into my face and he smiles. A lot. It is heart-melting and it takes every fiber in my body not to pick him up, squeeze him, and say "forget the nap, let's go get you a pony!"